This piece comes with a yuck warning…so yeah, you have been warned!! Oh and my hubby suggested I write this, I’m not sure he believed me when I said I would, so “in ya face hubster”!
It all started in a beautiful (kinda) blue room, a room full of wondrous lotions and potions and an ivy plant that has surprised us all. A room of peace and tranquility. The room in which I have a slightly higher, not much higher, but slightly higher chance of getting 5mins to myself. The Bathroom.
Small Monkey is in bed so I tell Hubby 10mins in advance that I will be getting in the shower, so if he needs the loo go now (‘cos you know, us ladies need a little time in the bathroom). Nope, says he, I’m grand. 20mins later I finally head to the bathroom (I dunno why I call it a bathroom, it’s very misleading as we only have a shower). It’s a small room, ’bout 6ft by 7ft. When you open the door the shower is immediately to your left, this half of the room is raised on a step. Straight in front of you, is the sink and loo. Anywho, in I go and disrobe (that’s what ladies do…we don’t just take our clothes off you know). I was just about to get in the shower when I glanced at me feet. Hmmm, time to take off the red nailpolish it’s only been there a month (don’t judge me, the appeal of my toes were the least of my worries this month). So I perched myself on the loo, in all my naked glory and began removing the nailpolish, when lo, there is a little knock on the door. A little voice goes “I think I need a poo poo”! AH FOR FECKS SAKE!! But wait, the voice is walking away…yesssssss!!! NOOOOOOOO!!! The bathroom door starts to open….”it’s coming!” “Ah, jayzus P, can I not just have 5mins to myself?? Get out ’til I put clothes on, for God’s sake!!” “Jeezus Don, it’s not like I haven’t seen it all before” as he hops back out the door. Yes peeps, that little voice was Hubby and I don’t bloody care if he has seen it all before, me sitting like a Buddha on the loo trying to get rid of nail polish the colour of blood is something I’d like to keep to myself (although now you have that fab image in your head…enjoy your brekkie!!). I wrap a towel around me and sit on the step by the shower, P ploughs in and plonks on the loo. So now I’m sitting eye level with the side of Hubby’s buttcheek….joy of joys…life is fantastic!! “Eugh, that stuff stinks” he says, I just give him the eye, the eye that says “you wanna hope that’s all that stinks in here”. Hubby starts making polite conversation, ya know…how was work? We should get some magazines in here. Do you wanna do me feet while you’re down there? No I bloody don’t!!! But now you mention it, hand me down my Scholl and I’ll do mine. (Sexy, I know!)
So there we were, me “sanding” my feet to the sound of Hubby having a poop! In the words of Hubby, (sarcastically of course….I hope) “God we’re so romantic. You should write about this in your blog”. “I will, don’t test me!”. “DO IT!”. So I did!
PS I hope this post doesn’t offend you but it is just real life. I’m sure I’m not alone in scenarios like this. Feel free to share your “bathroom shares” too.
Love Don x