Can I be your friend?

I seen a post recently on a FB group I’m part of, a girl looking for friends. The girl feels she has friends within the group but once she’s outside of it, she feels like she has nobody. She knows people but there’s no friend friend if you know what I mean.

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I’m very lucky when it comes to friends, I’ve managed to hold onto friends from school and my bestest friend Ash, from national school. I mean she even forgave me for that time when we had a fight and the stone I threw, went through her open sitting room window and hit her little cousin, Selina on the head. Even Laura, who lives in another town and I don’t always get to see when I get home, we don’t speak as often as Ash and myself but she still counts as a close friend just like Ci. The thing is we don’t have to speak everyday to know that, if the shit ever hit the fan we’d be there for each other, even if it is just an ear on the phone.

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Ash & moi!

I moved to London in 2000, on holiday, if you ask me Da. I worked in a pub for a long time so you kinda have to be sociable to do that…well like 80% of the time…when you haven’t had to get up for the delivery or you’re not hungover. That’s where I met Calvin, a.k.a Quelvin/SuperChocolateBear/Bumbacleet. Twenty-five years my senior, I know I can trust him with anything and a cooler guy I’ve never met….well me Da’s pretty cool too actually. I’ve met other people too, but some people you meet in passing, some you miss, some you don’t. Some you wish you’d had more time with ‘cos even though you only knew them a short time, they definitely made an impact on you. One thing’s for sure though, if you have these people already in your life make the effort to keep them and not lose touch.

I think as you get older it certainly gets harder to make new friends. We become shy. We worry about what the other person will think. What if they think we’re weird or worse have no interest in being our friend.

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New friends

What happens to the bravery we had as kids, when we would play with everyone and not worry about what they thought? We just spend too much time over-analysing. So we mooch around being sad and lonely, because we’re too afraid to take the first step and ask “can I be your friend?” I’ve made new friends since having Small Man, and even though I think I’m ok with approaching new people, in my head I feel kinda nervous. I think oh God these people are much cooler than me…oh my God why didn’t I wear something a bit dressier, but then I get sense and I think well here I am, this is me and shur listen I dunno what’s gonna happen unless I just get in amongst it! This was how I met Courtney. Well really I met her through Slimming World but we actually became friends when I actually got me finger out and just asked for her number so we could hang out sometime. This sounds kinda weird, sorry Courtney, but I knew when I saw Courtney that I wanted to be her friend. As Calvin says, ” we gravitate towards certain people”. I felt weird asking but I think she was kinda glad to be asked.

The girl who posted the “cry for friends” was actually really brave and open. We should all take a leaf out of her book cos as she said “if you don’t ask, you don’t get!” The person you’re sitting next to could be feeling  the exact same way as you…just ask!

love Donna x

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Pick up a pen & make somebody smile!

TOYW_facebook_2015Hey guys! So this week is “Thinking of You Week”. It’s organised by the Greeting Card Association and runs from the 21st to the 27th of September. Yessss I know….a great way for them to get us to spend money, but I actually think it’s a great idea. I mean why do we have to wait for birthdays and Christmas to send cards? Remember when we actually had to pick up a pen and write a letter to find out how people were? My son’s not quite old enough yet, but other than maybe their letter to Santa, has your child ever wrote a letter? Writing to somebody is just so personal, it’s not something that is mass produced and pre-printed. It means somebody thought about you, just you yourself.

God I used to love writing letters, I wrote to my Nanny, my little brothers, my cousins including one I never expected replies from, but he did reply and I think thats what made us that little bit closer. I had a couple of pen pals at one point too. My Bestie and I even used to keep a joint diary, which we took turns in writing in every few days, even if we fell out, so we always knew when and why we were annoyed with each other. I still like writing, hence the blog, but I’m also a writer of lists and I love posting stuff to people unexpectedly. My day is instantly better when I receive something other than a bill or some piece of junk mail in the post, and OMG if it’s handwritten….aaaaaaagh the excitement!!! Simple things….

So yes, I am promoting Thinking of You Week, ‘cos we all like to be thought of don’t we? Isn’t it a great feeling to know that somebody took time out of their busy, probably mostly technological filled day to pick up an old school pen and paper and write you a letter, or a card or even just a couple of lines on a postcard? (That was a reeally long sentence eh?) It’s also made me think of friends I haven’t spoken to in a while, not because I don’t want to, it’s just there never seems to be a spare minute in the day. It’s made me think of old friends that are always there but maybe I’ve been a bit lackadaisical with recently (I also want to apologise for that now too….I’m sorry…I love you!). It’s made me think of new friends and how happy I am to have met them (God I hope they don’t think I’m some sorta weirdo stalker now!!).

Anywho, I took a little time out Friday night to sit and write a little note to some of my friends and they will hopefully receive them this week. I’m also going to get my little man involved and we’ll have a little arty day where he can paint some one off cards, so some of ye lucky buggers may even get two cards!!! Two!!! Thats two non-bills flying through your letter box. I know I can feeeeel your excitement!! 🙂 I’m also gonna do a little something on my Facebook page so pop over there and have a look too.20150918_233138

So now I think the best thing for you to do, once you’ve read this (nosed through me other posts and told your friends they should read them too…hee hee) of course, is get writing…with pens like, and make somebody smile! Take a look at the Thinking of You Toolkit here if you need ideas, or you could make it into a family craft day and make your own cards to send out, which is eeeven more special! When you’re done with all your real life writing you can bring the tech back in if you like… take pics and tag @GCAUK #ThinkingOfYou #SendingSmiles.

Have fun and happy writing!

Donna x

*top banner is compliments of the GCA Thinking of You Toolkit