You seemed a bit off?

“Did you enjoy the wedding?” says Ma, “you seemed a bit off?” and indeed I was. I mean I did enjoy my bro’s wedding but I’ve had smoother days to be honest.

It’s 10.30.”Hubs, Hubs get up will ya and get Small Monkey ready, I’m going hairdressers”. Yeah, yeah, he grunted and off I went in me pjs. My sis dropped me up the road to get me hair done, this was the first time, bar my own wedding I’ve actually just gone to the hairdressers to have somebody style my hair. Ma and sis had already been up and were home getting stuff sorted.

Hair done, ready to go but the hairdresser is advising me not to walk down the road in the wind with the suspicion of rain. I could see her point but I’d already waited 10mins and time was of the essence….thankfully my Uncle rolled up. At home I’m greeted with my son still dressed in his pjs, my Hub still in bed and my sister saying can you do the boys hair!!! Jayzus Christ!! Much shouting at Hub-sack ensues as I gel the kids hair, achieving nothing. I could already feel the offish-ness creeping in.The weddings at 1.00, I’m still painting my Ma’s nails at 12.30…like it’s nearly 4 miles away and Ma never leaves the house on time. Anyway we get there before the gorgeous bride and all is well with the world.

Woooo!! After an epic bridal party entrance, it’s food time. We’re sat at the table with our Small Monkey and two monkey nephews, they’re pretty good to be fair, until all three head under the table. Things are wobbling. The guy across from myself, hubby and Emma says, “I hope if anything falls it goes that way” inclining his head toward us. I kid you not, 2 minutes later I was sitting there soaked through to me knickers….not fcuking happy lads!! Nothing landed on hubby but he had the cheek to seem more annoyed than me…in fairness I’d quickly slipped on my “I’m-a-cool-Mammy-they’re-only-kids-nothing-phases-me” face, whilst actually wanting to murder all four of them….yeah four…that’s the three kids and your man across the table for putting the heebie jeebies on it! Trying to dry off under the hand dryer was futile…like pissing against the wind!

Expert concealment there lads!

The day wanders on and I decide I need to take the contacts out. On the way back from the car (to get the stuff to soak them in, which I initially forgot) I met my grumbling hubby and whingey child. “What’s up?”…”He’s shit himself!”. Ah for feck sake!! Small Monkey has mastered the “I need to wee” but when it comes to poo, he’d rather look at you like he’s tryna squeeze a football out of his butt, then tell you he’s started. All three of us trudge into the lift. Small Monkey stinks! Once in the room I proceed to take my contacts out, after all hubby started his journey up here to deal with the poo, he must intend to finish it. Of course though, he’s just faffing about in the bathroom with Small Monkey moaning. “For the love of God, will ya sort the child out” I snipe. And I was snipey, the fcuking contacts weren’t co-operating! So I’m now up one red eye and proceeding to poke my left eye, hubby’s in the toilet heaving ‘cos he has to deal with an insanely stinky poo and Small Monkey is fretting. Seriously!!! My left eye is now redder than my right and I dunno whether the contact is in or out…for a second I thought I blinked it out when I glanced into the loo for visual confirmation that hubby was now puking rather than just heaving. Jeezus Christ!! I start shouting at hubby to man up, the child is crying. I’m clawing at the carpet tryna find the fecking contact and would you believe poor hubby is still trying to be helpful to me. ( He finally got the child out of his trousers, which I rinsed and left in the bath til later. I then bagged them and threw them in the suitcase forgetting about them. They went back to the hire place in that state! Eeek!!) No joy with the contact and a battle to get Small Monkey’s shoes back on, we head back to the party. 160529011833_wm

I don’t know why, but I find it extremely hard to let loose and enjoy myself when Small Monkey’s around. It’s not like he’s extremely hard to look after but I just don’t feel like I can drink freely if you know what I mean, when he’s about. I feel like I become really uptight, that paired with my itchy, red eyes, still damp dress and the fact the wait staff took my fcuking dessert…yes…I am now the Queen of Fcuking Offish-ness!

P.S. Apart from all that, it was a really good day with some amazing shapes thrown…my Hubbalump the proud owner of some.

Congrats Phil & Sinead

Love Donna xx


Wedding DIY

Hey Guys! Sorry for the quietness, I won’t bore you reasons why…let’s just crack on!

One piece of excitement though, my brother’s getting married in May!! EEEK!!

Weddings can be a costly business so I thought I’d do a little post, inspired by my “Sis-In-Law-To-Be” aka SILTB on simple things you can do yourself to cut a few of these costs or just to add unique personal touches, to make it extra special.

As I’m here in London and the Wedding was going to be at home, I wanted my friends here to have plenty of notice, so I made our Save the Date cards.20150830_122308 I wanted something personalised and vintagey looking but I couldn’t afford the price tags for what suited my needs, so I headed to The Works (yes, I love this shop…ask Sarah!). I bought a couple of packets of pocket sized glossy cards. I also bought some photo paper from Poundland and a child’s dress up wedding veil. I then got hubby to don a white shirt and a top hat borrowed from a fancy dress kit, I wore a white dress and the dress up veil, and my sis took some black and white pics of us. I printed the photos off and assembled the cards as shown. Inside the cards had full details of the wedding and reception venue. To make things 20150830_123115easier on those unfamiliar with the area, I also included a list of local cab numbers from the airport and the hotel, directions via bus, train and car, and a list of other hotels in the area should they choose to stay there.

Now the Hen Do!

Invites; I wanted a Burlesque themed hen and as we couldn’t find the right type of invites, my sister made them up. She bought a pack of plain cards from The Works and I drew the silhouette of a burlesque dancer on each. Sarah then decorated each with a fluffy feather and some glitter. This cost less than a £5.

20150830_123702T-Shirts; We were going away for two nights, and I wanted us all to have Hen t-shirts made. I would wear white, the girls black. I bought all the tops from Peacocks for £3 each and I found some really great iron-on diamante transfers on Ebay. The prices varied on what you wanted but all in all the tops didn’t cost any more than £8 each. Each t-shirt was personalised to suit whom was wearing it so I got exactly what I wanted.246882_1924461305403_6115229_n (I should also point out, all the girls paid for their own tops…poor Bridey has a wedding to pay for so every contribution helped 😉 ) Obviously you will find all sorts of great t-shirts on Ebay too so don’t be shy…get googling!20150830_123644

The Big Day!! The theme of which was Irish, English and family.

Wow there’s so much you can do.

Ok so, I didn’t want the standard big ribbon on the end of each pew so Peacocks had a sale on at the time and I bought 30 white rose hair clips for £15, which my florist arranged into bunches of three and hung on the first 5 pews at the top of the aisle. (I also bought the ribbon you see there on Ebay!)20150830_122120

My bestest bud made my Mass booklets for me, as she is a computer genius! She sourced some lovely thick cream card locally and printed them all off, saving me a fortune. I can’t remember how much this cost but I think she 20150830_122936made about 30 booklets using the cream card as a cover and ordinary printer paper inside….God love her she even stapled them all together for me.

150918010651_wmI got this fab personalised cake topper from Just Toppers for £40 and it now stands looking out at me from my glass case. I love it. I picked up the “LOVE” sign in a shop in Gillingham for £3 and I bought the letters from Ebay, they’re about £1.80 each. I then painted them a pearly silver colour.307899_2176272160517_2008080345_nExcuse the poor pic but the feathers and diamante pins in my wedding bouquet were also a bargain from Ebay.150918012154_wm

Our tables were named after each of our immediate family members20150830_122602…brothers, sisters, parents, I think we had 20 tables, so I bought 20 vintage looking frames from Poundland and for each table, had a picture of myself and hubby with said family member on it. These were then given to each person as a little gift afterwords.

I made my own favours…well I say I made them, I got booted out of the kitchen for being a stress head and the girls and Ma made them. I bought Shamrock and Rose chocolate moulds, from Ebay of course, and Ash supplied endless bars of dairy milk chocolate (on offer at the time for huuuuuge bars). So each guest’s plate had a chocolate Rose & Shamrock favour sitting on it. I also bought some personalised Rose & Shamrock confetti to sprinkle on the tables, along with pink and purple diamantes from…….EBAAAAAAY!!! Hee hee hee. Mine were foil similar to these but you can now get some lovely little, personalised paper hearts, which if you have patience you can easily hand make. Also don’t be afraid to use a fun shaped hole punch to make confetti, a lot of Pound shops or craft shops will do these.

Now these next bits, I did not make for my own wedding but for others. I went through 3 pairs of shoes on my wedding day…varying in height down to flats. 😀 (Also this has nothing to do with crafting but, I really wish I’d purchased some of those heel protectors I’d seen popping up every time I looked at wedding shoes. My £200 (a gift btw!) pair of gorgeous sparkly, fluffy peeptoes have now got grass stained heels, as most of our pics were taken on the lawns, so do please invest in some.) I wish I’d thought of this at the time, I blinged up these Converse for a friend.IMG-20150509-WA0032                                    IMG-20150509-WA0008 IMG-20150509-WA0005

I actually didn’t do the toes on these ones, she bought them like that, but I have done before. This was fairly cheap to do too.

The garter I made for my Mother In Law, cost me about £6 to make. There’s a penny with the year her and her Hubby to Be met sewn in the back. As she likes a bit of bling I used an earring to make it more sparkly!DSCN1774

So there you go…there’s a few ideas for ya. Don’t be afraid to make things yourself, you’ll feel so proud when you see it on the day and it will be personal to you. Don’t let people put you off by saying you need to spend lots, remember, it’s just one day and really it’s not about how it all looked, it’s about two people tying the knot! Remember to scour local pound shops, even charity shops and Ebay is your friend. Check out Pinterest for some great inspirational ideas too.

Woooooooo….ooooh this day 8mths ’twill be the night before the nuptials!!