Last year’s resolutions..success or failure?

 

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“Here we are again, we’re on the road again”….aggh…*sigh*.

Yep. Hiya 2017, you shot round fairly quick, so quick in fact I didn’t get to complete my “achievables” from last year. God there’s just not enough time in a year! So how did I fare? Well let’s have a look…..

The old weightloss…well on that I actually did ok. I got down to my lowest weight so far on my Slimming World journey annnnd I can wear a size 12 in quite a few shops now which is what my target was on starting the plan. Most people have a weight in mind that they want to get down to, mine was a clothing size…a size 12 everywhere. I gotta say though the way sizes vary from shop to shop and depending on the cut, I no longer feel crap if I have to buy a bigger size now. So not only am I lighter and smaller, I’m wise to the ways of you bloody shops and your weird sizing! Just after New Year, I attacked my wardrobe again and was actually ruthless, I got rid of pretty much everything that is now two sizes too big. I was still wearing them ‘cos they fitted but actually they didn’t they were shapeless and baggy and weren’t doing me any favours. Plus I never intend on being that size again so ta, ta for ever bigger sizes (ok I might have kept one or two pretty dresses which I love for if and when I’m preggers again…make savings where you can peeps!) Anyway on that note, if you have lost weight by whatever means (safely, hopefully) but you can’t see the difference yourself, go and try on the clothes you’re still wearing and I bet you’ll see the difference then.

Exercise….hmm…I feel like I did pretty well on this up until October, then it started getting darker and colder. During the summer, I’d started dragging my ass outta bed at 6.30 for a pre-work “wun” (walking/running…interval training I suppose). I’m not ready to commit to the word running just yet. plus there’s still an awful lot of huffing and puffing and general feeling like my heart is gonna burst out of my chest. If I didn’t get going in the morning I’d go walking with Suzanne in the evenings….jayzus lads, I even got outta me bed whilst AT HOME!! At 6.30 IN THE MORNING!! I think the only time I’ve ever been up at that time of the morning at home was on a walk home from the pub…or Ash’s house…with Karl Green! People were going to mass!!!! The SCANDAL!!!!! At the moment though, I’m still struggling to get motivated again…but it’s ok…January Blues an’ all that. 🙂

Money!!! Fecking money!! It can’t buy you happiness but it can certainly help you on your way. Well, this my friends, was a complete failure! I really codded meself into thinking I could save with all that was going on last year. The upside to not having saved is, I spent it on having a really good time! So I’m winning right? Hubby and myself have set the much easier target of saving ALL of our £2 coins…far more doable.

Patience!!! HAAA! Forgit aboud iiiit (say that like Hugh Grant in Mickey Blue Eyes!) I can’t even elaborate…I think I’ve actually gotten worse!

I have learned this year, that I am not now, nor will I ever be a knitter. I tried the sky blanket, but I got bored knitting tiny squares in the same grey (poo British weather) so never got past day 21. As much as I want to yarn bomb Calvin’s front door, it ain’t gonna happen. Fear not though, there was a winner in this too…I sent my Ma all the wool I’d bought, she was delira!

Happily, the “piles” (not the bum ones, thank you) have gotten better. My bedroom is normally clutter free, well the top of my dresser still suffers and it still has no handles BUT the only piles currently in my room are either en route to the attic or charity shop Thursday. I finally got my writing bureau finished and I’m very proud of it, along with a couple of other little bits of furniture I revamped. At the minute I’m in the process of “McQueening” Small Man’s room.

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The Reading Challenge was a success too. I’m glad I took part in it, not that there was a prize or anything but it made me take time out to do something I love again. I think I ticked off each heading on the list. I reviewed all of the books I read over on my FB page but I might just pop it on a separate post here…ya know just in case you’re not on FB and feel like you’re missing out. Hee hee! I’m going to do it again this year so if you have any book suggestions please let me know and if you’re doing let me know too.

I can’t encourage reading enough, it’s such a great pass time, it can take you anywhere, you can be anyone. It can broaden your horizons, improve your spelling and language skills and you can do it anywhere. I read to Small Man every night, woe betide me if I don’t. So go, go get your books out and discover something new.

My Blog..my little bloggy woggy! I so wanted it to be better, for more people to know about it and to read it. I wanted more interaction too, I guess though, that just helps me know that it’s being read and enjoyed…or not enjoyed but how do I know? Thing is though I still don’t know how to promote it, or I’m not brave enough.I still write once a month for Family Friendly Hq, which I find easier to say. Weird eh!? I wanted to write more and I wanted to post prettier pictures like LilliWhiteRose and Kate Kelly, but writing a blog is not as easy as one might think. It’s time consuming to say the least but I’m not giving up and there’s still time. So if you read me, and you like what you read, do share it about and don’t be afraid to say hi now and then.

So what’s the plan for this year? Well as I said to Hubby…LIVE! I intend to do more of the things I want to do and stop procrastinating. Be they large or small, I will achieve…within my means….oooh oooh…I’m going to Paris!!! Wooo!!!! And, annnnd Electric Picnic (pleeeease be good…now if Lana Del Rey was to perform again shur I’d be made up!) I’ll continue my quest to be the “size 12 that fits everywhere” and I’ll get bloody handles for that dressing table!!

Happy New Year People, may it be all you want it to be.

Love Donna xx

P.S When I say more of what I want to do, this will include my menfolk should they wish or should it be suitable for them to take part.

P.P.S It’s 9 days into January and I am totally broke! 😀

 

Can I be your friend?

I seen a post recently on a FB group I’m part of, a girl looking for friends. The girl feels she has friends within the group but once she’s outside of it, she feels like she has nobody. She knows people but there’s no friend friend if you know what I mean.

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I’m very lucky when it comes to friends, I’ve managed to hold onto friends from school and my bestest friend Ash, from national school. I mean she even forgave me for that time when we had a fight and the stone I threw, went through her open sitting room window and hit her little cousin, Selina on the head. Even Laura, who lives in another town and I don’t always get to see when I get home, we don’t speak as often as Ash and myself but she still counts as a close friend just like Ci. The thing is we don’t have to speak everyday to know that, if the shit ever hit the fan we’d be there for each other, even if it is just an ear on the phone.

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Ash & moi!

I moved to London in 2000, on holiday, if you ask me Da. I worked in a pub for a long time so you kinda have to be sociable to do that…well like 80% of the time…when you haven’t had to get up for the delivery or you’re not hungover. That’s where I met Calvin, a.k.a Quelvin/SuperChocolateBear/Bumbacleet. Twenty-five years my senior, I know I can trust him with anything and a cooler guy I’ve never met….well me Da’s pretty cool too actually. I’ve met other people too, but some people you meet in passing, some you miss, some you don’t. Some you wish you’d had more time with ‘cos even though you only knew them a short time, they definitely made an impact on you. One thing’s for sure though, if you have these people already in your life make the effort to keep them and not lose touch.

I think as you get older it certainly gets harder to make new friends. We become shy. We worry about what the other person will think. What if they think we’re weird or worse have no interest in being our friend.

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New friends

What happens to the bravery we had as kids, when we would play with everyone and not worry about what they thought? We just spend too much time over-analysing. So we mooch around being sad and lonely, because we’re too afraid to take the first step and ask “can I be your friend?” I’ve made new friends since having Small Man, and even though I think I’m ok with approaching new people, in my head I feel kinda nervous. I think oh God these people are much cooler than me…oh my God why didn’t I wear something a bit dressier, but then I get sense and I think well here I am, this is me and shur listen I dunno what’s gonna happen unless I just get in amongst it! This was how I met Courtney. Well really I met her through Slimming World but we actually became friends when I actually got me finger out and just asked for her number so we could hang out sometime. This sounds kinda weird, sorry Courtney, but I knew when I saw Courtney that I wanted to be her friend. As Calvin says, ” we gravitate towards certain people”. I felt weird asking but I think she was kinda glad to be asked.

The girl who posted the “cry for friends” was actually really brave and open. We should all take a leaf out of her book cos as she said “if you don’t ask, you don’t get!” The person you’re sitting next to could be feeling  the exact same way as you…just ask!

love Donna x

Time waits for no man.

I think I just booked a ticket to go to Electric Picnic next year with the girlies! I dunno where the hell I’m getting the money from to pay for it, actually I haven’t even got the deposit for it yet and I don’t know who’s gonna babysit the Small Monkey as hubalump is likely to be working. I’ve just come back from 9 days at home, I’m going to a wedding in Donegal next month, possibly an overnighter in Dublin in December and I AM going to Paris in Feb/March…again, money and sitters feature heavily in my problems here but shur what about it? Time waits for no man and I fully intend to start sh*tting money!

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We poo money!

Waaaay back in 2008, I decided I was going to wait for the right time less and do more of the things I wanted to do, caring less about what others thought. So I did. I went to visit my fairly brand, new friend and her “met-him-a-coupla-times” hubby in Sweden.

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Yep, that’s me there!

I never fully believed when I told her I’d visit that I would, but one day I decided what’s stopping me? I don’t pay real bills yet (I was working in a pub…food & lodging inc), no kids and no boyfriend, so I booked my flights and off I went. I came back and booked onto a Hadrian’s Wall camping hike for Great Ormond Street Hospital. I knew nobody else going and I’d never hiked anywhere. The furthest away I’d ever camped in my life, was about 12ft from my back door at home in the back garden. The only thing I did know was, I’d always wanted to see Hadrian’s Wall and I wanted to do more for charity so this trip was a win win situation. It was a 25 mile hike and being inexperienced, there were bits I found tough but it was a great experience, I made a new friend and we still talk today. Ooooh and I ate lunch under the tree where Kevin “Robin Hood” Costener defended the boy in the tree!

 

From there I booked a girlie holiday with my future in laws to Gran Canaria. I took my Ma on her first foreign holiday and we had an absolute ball. I kept up the charity work effort by doing one sponsored event a year.Me bestie and I did the Moonwalk for Breast Cancer in 2012, we walked 26 miles…in a row…through the night!! Small Monkey crossed his first finish line for Great Ormond Street Children’s hospital aged 1. Hubby also did his first charity event that day aged 33.  Bar a trip to Lanzarote, after that my “travelling” quietened down a bit as we were saving for our wedding. I did other things though, I booked tickets for hubby and myself to go see musicals that I would normally wait until I had the money, but we were saving anyway and when were we ever gonna have the money? I also did a travel and tourism course somewhere in amongst all that. Oh and I took pole dancing lessons! Why? Cos I wanted to. It looks fun and the pro’s make it look sexy as hell and I’m sorry but what woman doesn’t want to have a good time looking sexy as hell? (Admittedly the reality was somewhat different!) Was I planning on becoming a pole dancer? Nope, I’ve not an ounce of upper body strength for a start (mahooosive respect to those women who can do it). What did people say? Oh I’m sure some had their opinions but why should their opinions stop me from doing what I want?

Things quieted down a bit once I had Small Monkey, but once I made up my mind to stop waiting (for what? I don’t know) and just got out and went to our first Mother and Baby coffee morning, things started happening again. The things I go to or do might not seem big or as exciting as some of the other things I had done but they were tailored to suit my New Mammy Life. I stopped waiting to be invited places and packed myself and Small Monkey off on our own and it’s still the same now. If I wake up in the morning and the weather’s amazing, we’ll go to the beach.It wasn’t planned and we might not get there til lunchtime but shur what else am I at? Wandering around the same street, thinking I should have done this. There doesn’t always have to be a plan. Seriously lads, we’re never at home! Why? Because time waits for no man! Hubby is a different kettle of fish, he is one of those that will hum ‘n’ haw and worry about what will happen, he’s convinced we’ll get stabbed, attacked or bombed wherever I suggest going, so now I don’t wait (although if I do get him going, he normally enjoys it and tells everybody it was his idea!). I don’t wait for hubalump to ponder whether or not we’ll survive a trip to Bexleyheath, I just go. I’m tired of sitting and waiting!

My sister drives now, so we go meet her and we head off to new parks or beaches, instead of sitting around saying we’ll do it…shur there a few weeks ago we were walking around 8000 year old caves in London! When we go home to Ireland, we try to have some sort of excursion. One of the best was probably the road trip to Tramore which was Small Monkey’s first trip to the beach. Four cars, packed with family, friends and sandwiches. We’ve been to Lough Booragh, Lullymore, Malahide Castle, to name but a few and we’ve also crossed the Cliffs of Moher, Clonmacnoise, Newgrange and Bru Na Boinne (how do ya do a fada on a laptop techie types?) off our list.I even got a Nicki Minaj concert and a trip to Czech Republic with the girlies in there too! (Ya know when your foreign friend says she’s going home for her 40th, and you, having never been to the country before and knowing nobody bar her, invite yourself along. Your friends are there and they jump on board, your Czech friend says yeah what the hell, be great to have ye but nobody really believes they’re going until tickets are booked and babysitters are sorted…yeah, ya know them times! #thebesttimes).

 

I think the point of this post is “do less sitting, thinking and more up and doing”. It doesn’t matter if it’s a tiny thing like going to get a pedicure or if it’s jumping out of a plane, if you want to do it and there are no reasons you can’t then why not do it? Stop caring about what people will say…or just care a little less if you can’t completely stop. Be the talk of the village, there’ll be somebody or something new tomorrow. If you’re not hurting those around you, then whose business is it anyway? Wear the sparkly arseless chaps to the pub tonight…well maybe don’t…chaps only look good on rugged cowboys and occasionally Christina Aguilera circa 2002…but you get my point. I had my hair dyed recently, with a rainbow streak. I didn’t do it ‘cos I’m unsure of my age or I’m clutching at my youth or because I’m having a mid life crisis. I did it because I’ve always wanted hot 161014083233pink in my hair but never thought I could carry it off and people would think I looked stupid. I’ve now decided I don’t particularly care to much what people think of my hair as long as I like it. I’d rather they like me myself than my hair. I also have 8 tattoos, most of which you can’t see anyway, because…yep you guessed it…they are for me, nobody else. Somebody did ask me though, why I have 8, or any I guess, what will I do when I’m 70? Well, please God, I’ll see 70 but no doubt life will carry on as normal whether I have tattoos or not. I might dread the sight of them by then, I really don’t know, but what I do know is, right now, today, I love them all…..well maybe one slightly less but shur listen YOLO….YOLO!! What about when you’re all wrinkly? Well I’ll just have more fun ironing them out trying to remember what they are. I think I just want to look back and think I don’t have to many regrets and I’m glad I got to do the things or at least some of the things I wanted, no matter how big or insignificant they may seem.

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It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day.

I’m not even sure if any of this makes sense to you reading it now, so I’m going to finish with  some words from this cool mutha f**ka….

“Look, if you had, one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted. In one moment
Would you capture it, or just let it slip?…..

You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime
You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go….

So here I go it’s my shot.
Feet, fail me not
This may be the only opportunity that I got

You can do anything you set your mind to, man”

                                                              Excerpts taken from “Lose Yourself” by Eminem

So there ya go lads, life is only temporary.

Love Donna x

 

 

 

 

You should go & love yourself.

There 2wks ago I donned my 50’s style Lindy Bop dress, put on my face, failed to pin curl my hair in a 50’s style do, and headed off in search of Collectif Clothing‘s store on Commercial St. I was heading to Abby Russell‘s (AKA Curvy Living) “Self-Love and Style” evening.

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me in Lindy Bop, apres hair do!

*Just to be clear, when I say “self-love”, I mean, like, love yourself for who you are not “manual self-love” ye dirty feckers!

I don’t think I’ve ever been 100% body confident in myself but I don’t think I’ve ever really let it affect me to much. I like to think I wear what I want, be it in fashion or not, if I like it I’ll wear it. If I’m suffering from a “bad skin on my back” day I’ll wear something to cover it and if I’m feeling fat then I’ll wear something that makes me feel less fat or covers my lumpy bits. If I feel comfortable and I’m happy wearing it, then why shouldn’t I? The choices I make, I make to suit my height and my shape, I make them for me. Of course I love people to say, ooh you look great or I love what you’re wearing, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder and you can’t win them all lads!  Obviously, if you’ve read my previous post Slima-marinky-mee! or follow my FB page you’ll know I’m a Slimming Worlder, so yes my weight did bother me but even when I was heavier, I like to think it didn’t affect my clothing choices to much, or made me feel like a bad person. Yes I do feel better that I’ve lost weight, but I wore a jumpsuit at my size 16 heaviest, I loved it, I feel like I rocked it, just like I love my new size 12 jumpsuit….my weight does not define me…it annoys me but it’s not the sum of me.

I was a little bit nervous as I was going on my own and so knew nobody. Normally I’d see an event like this and think well nobody to go with so not going, but as time waits for no man, one must seize every opportunity, and so I booked it. Thankfully I was greeted by a smart looking waitress with a glass of prosecco. Phew! At least I could just stand and drink…it would make me look like I was doing something. Anyway once I was in the door, armed with my prosecco, I could take in my surroundings. I’d never been in a Collectif shop before and I was obviously missing out, looking online is just not the same. Everything is so bright and colourful in store. So many colours, so many fab items of clothing….and sweet baby Jesus, there was a sale on!! It wasn’t only the clothes that were so bright and lovely looking though, there were amazingly dressed ladies of all shapes, heights and sizes everywhere and one cool sales guy. The outfits! The hair!! OMG the hair!!

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Myself & Abby…total babe!

As I was coming in there was a gorgeous blonde with an amazing figure and the biggest victory rolls I think I’ve ever seen greeting the ladies who came in before me, this was Abby, the hostess. It’s hard to imagine that this gorgeous lady ever had any body confidence issues…or any confidence issues at all tbh, I’m pretty sure her atoms are made of sunshine!

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Fuller Figure Fuller Bust, Moi & Ivory Lovelust

On walking around some more, I spotted Georgina Horne (AKA Fuller Figure Fuller Bust or as I like to call her, the woman who can work everything, she’s the shizz!). It was through her FB page that I learned about the event. There was another babe, with close cut hair and one of the few of us not wearing a dress, that looked so familiar, like you know when you feel like you know someone from somewhere but you can’t think where or how…turns out it was Miss Leyah Shanks, Mother of The Body Confidence Revolution #TBCR.

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Leyah

It was so weird, like meeting celebs, although I only know these people through social media, it was kind of surreal meeting them in really real life. I wandered about the clothes rails, making mental notes of what I obviously NEEEEEDED in my life, cos I have “NO” clothes and made conversation with a few people. Inside I might have been slightly nervous and wondering why I came alone, but I normally just suck it up and go for it, so I did, and nobody thought I was nuts. I really wanted to say hi to George as she’d helped me choose an outfit via Snapchat the week before, but I thought I’d seem like a sack so took a seat. As I watched ladies have their hair teased into retro up-dos, Abby made her way over to say hi. She was really sweet, we had a great chat about where we were from, work, the event and she suggested I go get my hair done too. So I joined the short queue and Abby introduced me to another girl, who’d come alone. Whilst loitering I went in for the kill and tapped George on the shoulder. I explained who I was and was delighted to find she remembered our snap convo annnd I just had to tell her her boobs were even more mahooosive looking in really real life….haaa #starstruck!

 

160901013059_wmAfter having the opportunity to shop, try things on, get our hair & photos done, eat yummy canapes, drink prosecco annnnnd receive goodie bags, Abby asked us to take a seat. Herself, Georgina and Leyah all spoke about how they’ve all had issues with their bodies, their weight, their shapes, their confidence, anxiety and how the media has affected how we think we should all look. There were three totally different shaped ladies standing in front of us and I wanted to look like all of them, but at the same time why? There is only one of me, I am so rare I should be on an endangered list lads! There may have been somebody in that room wishing they looked like me! It’s so hard to remember everything that was said but one quote that stuck with me was from George, “try finding influences in YOURSELF that don’t make you feel sh*t”. We can look to others for inspiration and we can look at others in admiration but we still need to be us, not a copy. None of these women have said they are 100% happy with themselves every day, they have all said they have crap days where they don’t like what they see, as I think all of us do. What they are trying to say is what we see on the glossy pages of mags has been tweaked and airbrushed to Barbie-like proportions. For the most part it’s not what a normal woman looks like. For a start not “every” woman in that mag should be a size 6-8 and 5’7 because not every woman is a size 6-8. Most women will have blemishes, or scars, or stretchmarks or uneven skin tone…some even have tattoos, piercings and God forbid…..BODYHAIR!!! Nobody is saying don’t strive for YOUR version of perfection if it makes you happy but make sure you’re doing it because it makes you happy, not because it’s how society says you should look. Shur if we all looked the same it would be pretty boring eh?160901013332_wm

I don’t think I’ve said everything I want to say here but as this post is getting quite long, I need to draw to a close. I know that I came out of the Self-Love and Style event feeling confident, feeling positive but the whole time I was sitting there I kept thinking of how much somebody very dear to me along with one or two others could really, reeeally benefit from being here and hearing from all these really cool, stylish shapely ladies. Just to hear from people you don’t know, that you don’t have to be tall and slim to be beautiful. If any of you ever get the chance to attend  one of Abby’s events or an event like this, I’d highly recommend it.

I’ll finish by telling you about a conversation I had with a friend…. I sent her a couple of pictures of what I might be wearing to this event. She text back to say I look amazing and that she has no fashion sense. I replied saying, you probably do (have fashion sense) but you have convinced yourself you can’t wear something because of your shape. I told her about an epiphany I had whilst ironing a few nights before. If something bad happened to me where I ended up not dying but maybe paralysed but with full brain function, something where I was pretty much bed bound forever, I would hate to have all that time to think about all the things I should have done or worn but didn’t because I was afraid of what other people might think or say. Better I just do it now while I still can and not regret when I can’t.

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i just wanted to show you one of the dresses I picked up at the event from Collectif!

 

*I hope I haven’t offended anyone with my “epiphany”…it’s not intended that way.

Love
Donna xx

 

Travelling with a demon toddler.

Yay! Summer holiday time (Boo! The ridiculous hike upwards in travel prices). Yay if you get to actually get on a plane and go some where! Boo…actually God love ya if, like me, your child, the beautiful angel traveller you thought you knew turns into a monster.160720115046_wm

I can’t start at the beginning because I can’t actually remember our outward journey but by jayzus….the return journey has to be the worst thing that’s ever happened to me whilst travelling. Here we go….

We’re standing in the queue to our already delayed flight, Small Monkey, my Sis and me. There’s some fairly toff-nosed business looking guys behind us and the two cool dudes, my Sis felt were trying to stand on her shoulders in a previous queue ahead of us. Joy of f**king joys lads, this is the beginning of my nightmare. If any of ye know my sis, you’ll know patience is not her strongest point and she wasn’t very impressed with being close to these guys again, Small Monkey is starting to be a butt and they’ve already thrown us a look. Our flight is delayed, Monkey decides he doesn’t want to queue, I don’t blame him, I don’t want to queue either. However wandering off to hang out of a manky rubbish bin is not cool though and, after asking him three times already to come back, I go and drag him back to the queue. He’s not impressed! I’m not bloody impressed either, I now have an unbalanced suitcase leaning on my leg, a gym bag slung over my shoulder, cutting into me and a wiggley worm child hanging out of me. The business guys look on snootily. Monkey is being quite the arse now though to be fair, with shouts like “stop, you’re hurting me” and “letttt meee oooout”. He starts head butting my leg, I’d like to point out here, I dunno where he gets that from. I’ve never head butted anyone except for this one time in third year….I don’t even headbutt hubby when he’s scaling my last nerves! To look at him, you’d think I was skinning him alive. I HATE when he does this to me, it breaks my heart and I feel so cruel, BUT this is an airport and running off to play is not an option. My sister is not impressed now either. I’m not sure if she wants to murder Monkey for being a butt or me for failing to control him. This hurts me too ‘cos I now feel somewhat of a failure but I’m at my wits end. Monkey is now laying on the floor kicking at the Cool Dudes bag! FML!! I know my sister meant well when she started telling him off, but I was cracking under the pressure. The judgey looks from Business Guys, Cool Dudes, the embarrassment that my Sis thinks I’m not firm enough (it’s very hard to be firm with your child in public), the disbelief that my child could do this to me, the heat, the jayzus bags hanging off me…I felt so bad when my reply to her telling him off was “when you have a child and you know what this is like, then you can tell him off, otherwise I’ll deal with him”.

Surprisingly, the further fecking delay to our flight was just the break we all needed. The queue dispersed and we went to sit on the window, where I could now deposit Small Monkey to watch the airplanes. My back was breaking, I was being stubborn, I was now carrying him, who was still tryna get a few headbutts in, the gym bag, which had now indented my shoulder and wheeling the curse-a-god wobbley suitcase. I wanted to cry, I know I was inside.

We’re finally on the plane….guess what? Delayed!!! Sitting on the runway now…thanks for the change of scenery Ryanair. Small Monkey has the window seat, my sister the aisle. In my head I’m singing “butthole child to the left of me, moody sis to right, here I am stuck in the middle, f**k me!”. Monkey is getting fidgety again…he’s playing with the blinds on the windows and wants to get ooooooout!! I do too! Me brain is melting! Woooo! We’re leaving. we’re departing….hail Buddha, Allah and Jesus! I put the seatbelt on fartarse, he’s not impressed but he really kicks up a stink when I tell him the blinds must stay up. By jayzus lads!! I was at the end of my tether, my sis leaned across and told Monkey he was in serious trouble. The rest of the flight was pretty much spent with Monkey crying and SCREAMING to get out, me facing away from my sis and the rest of the plane but dreading looking at my monster child, silently crying. I bribed him with sweets, colouring book and the one thing that would have worked was the f**kity, f**k  f**k ipad thingy (it’s not an actual ipad) which froze literally as Cars started. Things got so bad he eventually got a smack on the hand, which sounded like it echoed all over the plane adding tears of guilt to what already fell.

Thankfully we landed without anybody being murdered or exiting the plane mid Irish Sea. The only thing that made that flight a little better was another passenger telling me, she understood why he was behaving that way and not to worry, it happens. Thank you stranger. xx

You’ve read this far and you think it’s over….so did I lads, so did I. Cue the train journey from hell!! It began with Monkey being a complete bum in the station. This involved more laying and rolling on the floor, planking or flipping backwards violently when I picked him up…more screaming that I was hurting him. It didn’t get any better on the platform….screaming and crying and slapping Mammy. My Sis wasn’t impressed and even started to cry, saying she couldn’t stand seeing him treat me like this. What do you say to that? This made me sad and I felt even more of a d**k parent. The actual train journey didn’t get any better with me having to take him into the little sectioned off 1st class part of the carriage (obvs empty) where we had a little chat involving me taking all a nearly three year olds worldly goods away….eventually he calmed down and apologised to his auntie and me for “shouting & screaming”.160720115640_wm

Still I tearfully phoned hubby and told him to meet us at the station with the buggy…and the cattle prod!

Happy travels peeps! xx

 

 

The Women Hunters

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photo from Parents on Flickr

Ok firstly, calm down! This is not a post about weirdo, stalkers of women, I’m referring to my viewing last night.

My mind is currently boggled! I’ve watched Women Who Kill Lions and I just don’t get it. I don’t understand why you would want to kill something defenseless, for sport or just for the craic! It’s not attacking you, it’s nowhere near you, yet you have gone, sometimes travelled thousands of miles and stalked it out to shoot it.

There were two women featured on the the show and both have suffered serious online backlash, with Ricky Gervais adding fuel to one fire via Twitter. I’m not going to name them, as the cockier one of the two, a Canadian, pointed out, not only does she not care what people think but the more people talk about how disgusting she is, the more famous she becomes. Bizarrely, AND I’M NOT AGREEING WITH HER ACTIONS, the American came across (to me) as the slightly nicer of the two (as in, if I met both women on the street without knowing of them, I’d probably take to the American more).

So the American, from Wyoming reckons that it’s part of their culture to hunt, being from the West and all. Maybe it is and it’s important to preserve our culture and heritage but is it really necessary to hunt as she does? I’m  pretty sure there are supermarkets now. It also really bothers me that from a young age kids are encouraged to hunt, hence encouraged to use guns… American gun laws are utterly ridiculous as it is. During the program, we’re taken on a gun shopping spree with the American, where we’re shown lots of lovely guns, some are even pink, you know, pretty for the girly girls. The bit that gets me most is where she lovingly strokes a smaller pink rifle saying it’s “awesome that they’re not just selling it to women but for little girls too”. WHAT THE JAYZUS?? THEY SPECIFICALLY MAKE GUNS FOR LITTLE HANDS!!!!!! This woman also seems to think it’s AWESOME for the kids to be outside rather than stuck inside on the computer. On this I couldn’t agree more but that’s where we differ, I’m quite happy and content with my son just going outdoors and climbing trees without throwing a gun and shooting sh*t into the mix! I mean there has to be 101 other things you can do to make the big wide “boring” outdoors more exciting than kill animals? Go and break a few neighbours windows if you really need a buzz!

Now the Canadian, much cockier and was pretty blatant about how little she cares about how anyone feels towards her for her actions. So far she has killed 29 different species, with her 10yr old son accompanying her on many of the trips (he’s currently gearing up for his first bear hunt!!!!) One of these kills was a lion, at which she seems very emotional about and by emotional, I mean pleased! I just don’t understand it….how are people allowed to do this? It’s not like lions are over running the world…aren’t they on their way to making it onto the endangered species list? I might understand if they were given free reign on something like pigeons, pigeons are a menace but not lions or zebras. I’m not sick of seeing zebras, I think I’d like to see few more to be fair. This woman’s next hunt will be a rhino, which she will graciously “greenhunt” (use a tranquilizer dart rather than a bullet). She then says an elephant will be next on her list, her friend asks why she can’t greenhunt that, to which she basically just says, nah mate don’t fancy it. She actually has no valid reason for killing an elephant….this astounds me!

Canadian woman sees herself exactly where we humans are meant to be…hunting. We are carnivores and it’s in our nature to hunt. Canadian also points out she did eat some of the lion, although I kinda feel like she’s just saying that, using the old “kill to eat” line to justify it a little. It’s almost a little strange that we do get upset by what these women do, as we raise animals to eat every day, maybe it’s just that the rest of us work off a fairly set list of whats acceptable to kill and eat and what’s not. I can see both women’s points a little on the “we are natural hunters” side of things, as without evolution I guess that’s where we’d be, but with evolution it’s where we’ve moved from too and killing animals for sport shouldn’t be acceptable. The thing is though hunting is big business in some of these places and thanks to governmental greed, if there’s money to be made then it’s unlikely to stop any time soon.

I found it kind of funny when the American woman spoke about the famous giraffe picture that instigated the Twitter assault. Apparently there were lots of valid reasons for killing this particular giraffe…he could no longer produce the goods to make a baby, he’d been kicked outta his gang, this lad was ready to die, not a bean worth living for so he may as well be hunted. Shur if he wasn’t he’d just go to waste! I just kept thinking of a little old grandad…oh shur listen lads, Grandad’s just a dried up old fossil now and we don’t really like hanging out with him anymore so lets just do him in! Could you imagine if that’s how we treated each other?? My God!! American woman also pointed out that it was good for that particular community, the economy even, that she’d shot the giraffe rather than him just dying and rotting out in the bush somewhere, at least this way they got some use out of him!

I also find it a bit weird that the American went hunting whilst pregnant with her daughter and took her young son along with her, after (I’m assuming) a bout of morning sickness! I feel strange in that, she was pregnant, growing a life and knowingly going out and taking a life…killing a life. It’s just weird and a bit unsettling. I guess it’s just hard to imagine a life giving woman as a life taker. Weirder still, is that I’m a little annoyed with myself for feeling this way, as doesn’t it seem a little sexist, almost like saying women can’t be hunters?

Did any of you see the show?

Donna x

 

 

You seemed a bit off?

“Did you enjoy the wedding?” says Ma, “you seemed a bit off?” and indeed I was. I mean I did enjoy my bro’s wedding but I’ve had smoother days to be honest.

It’s 10.30.”Hubs, Hubs get up will ya and get Small Monkey ready, I’m going hairdressers”. Yeah, yeah, he grunted and off I went in me pjs. My sis dropped me up the road to get me hair done, this was the first time, bar my own wedding I’ve actually just gone to the hairdressers to have somebody style my hair. Ma and sis had already been up and were home getting stuff sorted.

Hair done, ready to go but the hairdresser is advising me not to walk down the road in the wind with the suspicion of rain. I could see her point but I’d already waited 10mins and time was of the essence….thankfully my Uncle rolled up. At home I’m greeted with my son still dressed in his pjs, my Hub still in bed and my sister saying can you do the boys hair!!! Jayzus Christ!! Much shouting at Hub-sack ensues as I gel the kids hair, achieving nothing. I could already feel the offish-ness creeping in.The weddings at 1.00, I’m still painting my Ma’s nails at 12.30…like it’s nearly 4 miles away and Ma never leaves the house on time. Anyway we get there before the gorgeous bride and all is well with the world.

Woooo!! After an epic bridal party entrance, it’s food time. We’re sat at the table with our Small Monkey and two monkey nephews, they’re pretty good to be fair, until all three head under the table. Things are wobbling. The guy across from myself, hubby and Emma says, “I hope if anything falls it goes that way” inclining his head toward us. I kid you not, 2 minutes later I was sitting there soaked through to me knickers….not fcuking happy lads!! Nothing landed on hubby but he had the cheek to seem more annoyed than me…in fairness I’d quickly slipped on my “I’m-a-cool-Mammy-they’re-only-kids-nothing-phases-me” face, whilst actually wanting to murder all four of them….yeah four…that’s the three kids and your man across the table for putting the heebie jeebies on it! Trying to dry off under the hand dryer was futile…like pissing against the wind!

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Expert concealment there lads!

The day wanders on and I decide I need to take the contacts out. On the way back from the car (to get the stuff to soak them in, which I initially forgot) I met my grumbling hubby and whingey child. “What’s up?”…”He’s shit himself!”. Ah for feck sake!! Small Monkey has mastered the “I need to wee” but when it comes to poo, he’d rather look at you like he’s tryna squeeze a football out of his butt, then tell you he’s started. All three of us trudge into the lift. Small Monkey stinks! Once in the room I proceed to take my contacts out, after all hubby started his journey up here to deal with the poo, he must intend to finish it. Of course though, he’s just faffing about in the bathroom with Small Monkey moaning. “For the love of God, will ya sort the child out” I snipe. And I was snipey, the fcuking contacts weren’t co-operating! So I’m now up one red eye and proceeding to poke my left eye, hubby’s in the toilet heaving ‘cos he has to deal with an insanely stinky poo and Small Monkey is fretting. Seriously!!! My left eye is now redder than my right and I dunno whether the contact is in or out…for a second I thought I blinked it out when I glanced into the loo for visual confirmation that hubby was now puking rather than just heaving. Jeezus Christ!! I start shouting at hubby to man up, the child is crying. I’m clawing at the carpet tryna find the fecking contact and would you believe poor hubby is still trying to be helpful to me. ( He finally got the child out of his trousers, which I rinsed and left in the bath til later. I then bagged them and threw them in the suitcase forgetting about them. They went back to the hire place in that state! Eeek!!) No joy with the contact and a battle to get Small Monkey’s shoes back on, we head back to the party. 160529011833_wm

I don’t know why, but I find it extremely hard to let loose and enjoy myself when Small Monkey’s around. It’s not like he’s extremely hard to look after but I just don’t feel like I can drink freely if you know what I mean, when he’s about. I feel like I become really uptight, that paired with my itchy, red eyes, still damp dress and the fact the wait staff took my fcuking dessert…yes…I am now the Queen of Fcuking Offish-ness!

P.S. Apart from all that, it was a really good day with some amazing shapes thrown…my Hubbalump the proud owner of some.

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Congrats Phil & Sinead

Love Donna xx