The thoughts of a “wunner”

It’s 6.45 and my alarm is going off. I didn’t go to bed ’til 1.20. I press snooze. It’s 6.50, the alarm’s going again. I press snooze. Ugh! Why am I doing this? Do I really need to get up? It’s 6.55, my alarm is going off, I press dismiss and reluctantly drag my ass outta the leaba (bed for anybody not from the Motherland).

I’m halfway through week 3 of a Couch to 5K app, I’ve done the hard part this morning…I got outta bed. I feel a bit like Rocky now. I’m up, I’m at ’em. I’ve done me stretching…let’s do this sh*t!

So this week, it’s a 28 minute workout, alternating between jogging for 90secs, brisk walking for 90secs, jogging for 3mins and brisk walking for 3mins, with a 5min warm up and cool down either end….

First 90secs: Wooo! Yeah! Feeling pretty fly for a white girl! Eh? What’s that? Stop running already? Sure I am Usain Bolt lads.

Walkie, walkie…walking briskly…of course.

First 3mins: Phew…starts ok. Ugh..is 3 minutes really this long? Ok! Fine! Fine! Just get on with it Don. Pant! Pant! Hmm…what will I have for breakfast? God, normally I wouldn’t even be up now. Pffft! Puff! Pant! Wheez! Jeezus! Have I any clothes ironed for work? Oh Lord, has Monkey a clean jumper? Why has this one not said stop running yet?

Ding!! AT LASSST! Walk time. Oh my God! Really, why am I doing this? Pant! Pant! Wheez! Jayzus will I ever catch me breath? Like really the only reason I have to run is if I’m chased by a machete wielding clown, or if anybody is crazy enough to hurt my baby…then you better run like Satan and his hounds are on your tail! This is unreal. How am I so unfit? Oh Lord, I still have another 3min run to do! FML!

Second 90secs: Bah! Here I go again…ah this one’s only 90secs…piece a p**s. Phew, still a bit panty after that last one though. Power through Don, power through.

Is that it? That seemed short….the monster is looming though. I still haven’t fully recovered from the last three min sesh. I’d safely say I look like a plum tomato, masquerading as lithe leek. The panting and puffing though ….agh God…embarrassing!

Second 3mins: FML!!! I can’t do this! I CAN’T DO THIS! I’m puffing like an extremely old, on it’s way out steam engine, on the verge of combusting. Oh my God, people can probably hear me coming before they see me, this is woeful. No Don, cop on, everybody starts somewhere, plus they don’t know you haven’t already been running a straight 6miles. True, true, I got this. Oh my God, I don’t got this, my heart is going to leap outta me chest any time now, just like the Alien embryo burst through John Hurt’s chest. Like seriously, I’ve been running for a lot longer than 3mins now. Nope! Can’t do it, I’m quitting, if I can’t do this I’ll never get through week 4. Do or do not, there is no try…thanks Yoda. Ok I can do it. I can’t back out now anyway, I’ve posted on social media. FFS! Why did I do that? Lord divine Jayzus, is it STILL NOT 3 F**KING MINUTES!!! G’wan Don, stick with it, at least you’re at it, it get’s easier. Perseverance is key.You’re right Glenn, ok. I got this.Oh my God, I think I’m gonna puke. I think I may stop. Never had you down as a quitter Don? If you want it bad enough you’ll do it. True say Steve, I’m not quitting. 

BEEEEEP! OH THANK THE F**KING GODS!!! Brisk walk, brisk walk…wheeeze….wheeezey…pant pant puff! Keep up the walking Don, don’t collapse just yet. I did it, I did it! Ugh, my back is wet…ooooh…musta done something right. Ugh…sweaty bum! Not sexy! Who cares….I made it, it’s over! I’m getting better…wooooo….watch out Bolt!

This is the app I use. There are loads you can follow though.

Just so ye know, this is not a sponsored post guys. Let me know if ye decide to give a Couch to 5K a go and how ye get on. You can follow my progress over on Instagram @TotallyDonnaMarie1

xx

Busy hands make less of me!

Hey all! So this post is kind of a follow on from my Slima-marinky-mee post a few weeks ago. I thought I’d share some of the things I use to distract me from needless eating, ‘cos I dunno about you, but I’m certainly guilty of eating out of pure boredom. Now, I won’t lie either and say sensible thinking always wins, ‘cos in reality sometimes only half (probably a full one really) a tub of B&J’s Caramel Chew Chew will do, but they say God loves a trier and if my hands are otherwise engaged then I’m not stuffing me gob. So here we go…

1. Colouring! Yes kids…colouring and now thanks to the stacks of adult colouring books in themes ranging from the sea to space, mandalas to city landscapes and magical gardens, there’s loads to choose from (I spied a Star Wars one in Asda the other day but I already have two so I’ll be good). This is one of my favourite distractors as Small Monkey likes colouring too, so it’s an all round winner. We get to colour pretty pictures together and I’m not raiding the fridge. We’re spending time together and I’m spending less time munching. He’s developing his fine motor skills and I’m developing a lower BMI. It’s peaceful and I’m not dipping in the biscuit bin. There’s not much tidying up and I’m not raiding the other fridge. It’s actually very calming and I’m one-nil up in the battle against boredom eating! See!! WIN!
2. Knitting! Don’t judge…knitting is cool again, just google “yarn-bombing”. Again, my hands are busy and if I ever want to catch up with my “Sky blanket” then taking time to stop and eat is just not an option. I normally use knitting as a distraction during the night when I’m trying to catch up on my programs (a vicious circle in itself). I’m the slowest knitter in the world anyway and I can only remember three stitches but it works for me.
   

   
3. Reading. Ok, so reading can be a tough one as a lot of us like to curl up with a hot choc or glass of wine and some nibbles and delve into our books. However, I find if the book is good enough and I’ve got a nice mug of tea then I’ll want to get to the next page sooner than get up to root out a dangerous nibble, UNLESS I’ve got syns to use then of course they’ll be already beside me to use as a treat…hell yeah!! Basically, make sure you pick a proper page turner!! I also sometimes go through my old SW mags for a bit of inspiration.
4. Walking/ Dancing. Yay!! Back to the fun stuff…well kinda. (God I’m so distracted right now by comic Adam Hills pulling audience members up on stage to form a new boyband……anyway…). My friend Suz and I try to go walking three nights a week, it doesn’t always happen as life and family sometimes get in the way, but we aim for that. Yes, I know it can be hard to get stuff like this in but I think we’re entitled to these 4-5hrs to ourselves out of a week. If however we can’t get out or you haven’t got anyone to watch the kids then get them involved and DANCE!! Get your Beyonce on! Shake like Shakira! Release your inner Pussycat Doll….For the love of Geri Halliwell educate those lil ones on the Sacredness of the Spice Girls!! They’ll think you’ve lost the plot but ye’ll have great craic! Seriously though, everybody CAN dance! There are no rules to dancing and no matter how you do it, you’re moving more than you were before you started so you’re winning! Plus it makes us release endorphins making us in much better moods annnd you’ll tire the kids out!
   

   

    

5. Unfinished projects. I have a fair few of these lads lurking about, begging to be finished, the biggest of these is my writing bureau (yes Mike & Sandy…it’s still pending!). When I started painting it, it was summer so I’d get Small Monkey off to bed….and Big Monkey too and I’d paint it whilst they were out of the way and I could leave the window open to air it (we live in an upstairs flat, so no outside space for this). So if you have things like this that you’ve been meaning to do, use them as distractions to over eating. Simples!
6. Ironing! Booooo!! I know…not fun stuff, that’s why I saved this til last. As you can see from the pic, this is my least favourite distractor. Just think of it this way, unless you’ve blended your choccie bars into milkshakes and have a beer drinking helmet handy, it’s much easier just to start the ironing and get on with it. The “stop, nibble, iron” method means you may get one shirt done per hour, if you’re lucky. Still though, it’s a win…the ironing pile is decreasing and I’m sure this has to be a beneficial exercise to at least one bingo wing?!

So there ye go lads, these are the tips I try to use on myself, if ye have any to share then please tell me, like I said I’m not perfect and I don’t live my life by these tricks….shur if I did surely I’d be a whippet??

love Donna x

Slima-marinky-mee!

As I sit here munching my bag of cheese ‘n’ onion, I’ve decided to write a little about my weight loss journey. Yeah, this journey includes cheese and onion crisps and galaxy bars too.

Summer 2014..nearly as big as Mr Tayto!!

So at present the NHS still classes me as overweight, apparently I should be between 7st, 3lbs & 9st, 11lbs for my height. Personally I think this is ridiculous…..I’m pretty sure I was born 7stone! Pre-October 2014 though, I was actually obese. I’ve been overweight for a lonnnng time…I blame the desk job…not my hands shoving food and drink down me throat. God, when I was 16, I remember thinking I was the largest one on our footy team…I wasn’t! (To be clear, none of us were.) Now I take out them old footy shorts and scold myself for calling myself fat back then…they’d surely go past me knees now!

Annnyway…so yeah, Small Monkey was just over a year old and I was still carrying an extra stone and a half of “baby weight” as well as the extra stone I was just carrying for the craic. I didn’t even manage to lose weight for my wedding!! I knew I had to do something, I wanted to be able to run around with Small Monkey without huffing and puffing like Donna the tank engine. I’d also suffered from pregnancy diabetes and although it’s gone now, I’m told I’ll probably get it with every pregnancy I have. Well I don’t want diabetes of any kind, thank you very much, one’s will pass on that one thanks! I don’t actually know if my weight loss will decrease the chances of me getting it in pregnancy too, I just hope so…trying to test your own blood sugar level during a contraction is a pain in the bumhole! Of course, vanity is involved….I wanted to be the “Glammy Mammy” at the school gates waiting for me little man. You know, the Mammy that people say “oh doesn’t she keep herself well” or “doesn’t C’s Ma look great”. I just had visions of myself gaining a stone for every child I have (you’d swear I was having million like),  not losing it, then becoming some sort huuuge weeble like creature resigned to wearing lotsa stretchy pannnts (you gotta say that with an American twang). Not that there’s anything wrong with them and not that I’ll ever be seen as the Glam Mam at the school gate, I’m more a “roll-outta-bed-last-minute-and-throw-on-the-trackie-bottoms-I’m-only-going-to-the-school” kinda girl, BUT I’d like to have the option to be gorgeous and glammy and envied. Don’t get me wrong, despite putting on weight during pregnancy, weirdly I became more accepting of my squidgey body and actually loved it a little bit more, but it needed a little kick up the bum all the same. Also I had a slightly sadder reason for joining lingering at the back of it all too (altogether now…..aaaaah), I was lonely and this was another way for me to get out more.

With all that in mind I did try to be good on my own but there were no really astounding results. I love walking and had actually built up to running (very slowly, with much redness, jiggling and huffing and puffing….feck it though, I was doing it…what were you doing?) before becoming a baby baker, so I tried to squeeze that (walking, that is…one step at a time peeps) back into my life. It wasn’t really working, I wasn’t doing enough and as with before, whatever I was doing, my brain would say “nice work Don, you made space, go home and eat something silly now” so I never really lost anything. A friend though had recently joined a slimming club and had been seeing some great results, I had thought about joining a club but I’d been there before and although I’d lost a stone, it went back on over time and the thoughts of having to weigh and measure everything just did not appeal to me this time ’round. After much humming and hawwing I decided to give her club a go.

October 2014, I took myself through Slimming World‘s doors and I’m not looking back. I mean, I’m not coasting through like it seems some people are, but hey, who cares? This is me and it’s my way. Now I will admit, during my first week I was ready to quit BUT that was purely because I didn’t feel the first group leader I had was very explanatory…or maybe I’m just extra thick, even reading through the book after didn’t help and I lived for a week purely on salad and veg. Jayzus it was horrendous!! I had headaches, felt dizzy but didn’t ask for help for fear of sounding like a thick…don’t do this…this is stupid…ask for help! My second week in, we had Lisa covering and she explained the basics to the whole class. BEST.THING.EVER!!! It was so simple! I could eat anything really, yeah I couldn’t go and eat 3 buns and a mars bar in a day but I could eat A bun and MAYBE a mars bar depending on what other syns I’d had that day.

 

So let me tell you the basics of how it works, well this is my version…have you noticed the way I don’t call it a diet? That’s cos it’s not…it is a healthy eating plan. I think the main reason you lose weight with Slimming World is because we “learn” to cook again. What I mean by that is, you better be prepared for some chopping and dicing baby ‘cos we’re tryna make everything from scratch…no packets…no preservatives…no E-numbers. Preparation and planning is key here lads! Everything is fresh really, packaged food is avoided for the most part, you will use it but not like before…not as much. The best thing about it is, it’s great for all the family, you don’t have to cook special meals for yourself. In my house, 97% of the time we’re eating the same. We’re constantly trying new things and we eat more fruit and veg plus most things can be adapted to a healthier option. I’ve always given Small Monkey what we’ve eaten anyway, he’s never had jarred food, I just pureed everything and as I started Slimming World when he was one, he’s just come along on the food ride with me, with no drastic changes for him to get over. He’s tried veggies I’d never even seen ’til I moved to Londaan! Yes, there are things you have to limit but you don’t have to give up anything. If on the rare occasion I do go out, I go out and enjoy it but I am certainly more mindful of what I’m eating and drinking. Sometimes i gain, sometimes I maintain but one thing I do know is I can’t lose weight alone and I think I’d still be wandering about blindly in the obese zone if I hadn’t of joined…so thanks bud (she knows) for encouraging me to join the SW family. Oh, in relation to gains, I’ve had two noticeable, happy gains since joining…Suzanne and Courtney. It’s also brought me back in better touch with an old friend….she guided me through my first stint at shedding the poundage…Shannon.

At the mention of the girls there, original suggestive buddy included, as with anything you hope to achieve, support and encouragement plays a massive part. I alway stay for Image Therapy…I love this, it sounds tres posh! Seriously though, I love staying to group, having a cuppa, listening to how everybody got on, sharing ideas and new things we’ve found. It’s great, I mean if you’re really good you get stickers and certs!! C’mon…what’s not to love here? This tied in with walking and I’m onto a winner! HUP YA BOYA!!I have never been ashamed of any weight loss plan I’ve embarked on but with this I chose not to tell everyone ’til now, I suppose. I just found that previously, it felt like some people would discourage my attempts at losing weight or I felt like I was made to feel ashamed because I couldn’t do it on my own. Don’t let people dissuade you, there’s a good chance they are jealous of you, it may not even be the fact that you’re trying to lose weight as they might not need to themselves, it’s the fact that you’re doing something, anything, it doesn’t have to be weight loss, and they’re not.

I won’t lie, of course I ask myself “why can’t I eat what I want and not worry about it? Why can’t I be one of those people? Why is it when I look at a bun it adds instant pounds to my butt?” but I guess we can’t all be “those” people and maybe God, Allah…Buddha…whoever just wanted to test me that little bit more.

Love Donna xx

P.S Just so ye know, Slimming World have not asked or paid me to write this, I’m sharing what works for me and it may be helpful to you. This will also explain why I post foodie pics over on FB and Instagram (anything you see will more than likely be a SW recipe or something adapted to fit).

P.P.S Thank you Hubbalicious, Small Monkey (although you have no choice) and the ladies mentioned above for all your support the year or so.

P.P.P.S…..ah no just kidding!! (Is there such thing as “p.p.p.s?)